Before you're blindsided by infidelity, brush up on these 30 subtle signs your husband is cheating. And if you're concerned your own spouse.
Table of contents
- 6 Not-So-Obvious Signs I Missed When My Husband Was Cheating
- Learn about behaviors that could be clues of betrayal
- Signs Husband Is Cheating: 21 Ways To Know
- 20 signs that your partner may be cheating
- 9 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating
He was manscaping and getting buff. Is he more enamored with his own body than yours when you stand next to him in front of the bathroom mirror? My ex even had me shave the back of his neck and trim the errant patches on his mid-back, and little did I know I was grooming him for his sex partners. Of course, physical fitness is healthy, but when it becomes obsessive and he keeps showing off his abs and biceps, take that as a warning sign that could lead to him to become more enthralled with his own body than his commitment to your marriage.
I wanted to be a supportive wife, so I backed off my needs for quality time with him. He stops inviting you out to business events. Is he out several nights a week meeting with clients, vendors, agencies and people from his department or team? Have you been excluded from the social gatherings, and then learn other spouses had attended? The important thing is to look for changes in what had been the norm. In the last two years of my marriage I had no self-esteem, so I tolerated his behavior and believed his lies.
Have a backbone and stand up for yourself, starting now. He suddenly becomes angry. Is he showing anger and volatility that he never had before? That could be his guilt turned outward toward you. The first sign I got was when he told me I was antagonizing him by leaving the ironing board up after pressing his shirts. He said I was purposefully trying to piss him off because he thought I resented ironing. I loved ironing.
We went to counseling. He has new moves in the bedroom. Those were my exact words after he did something a little different during sex. I kept asking him why he wanted me to do that, but now I know it was because one of the women he had sex with must have had a Brazilian. Cheating can create a relationship that has excitement and risk. In many affairs, showering a new significant other with gifts keeps the spark alive—and often leads to some serious spending.
Your husband has suddenly taken to waking up at a. Unfortunately, this sudden change in routine could be a sign of infidelity. If this is the case, he could be overcompensating for some of his real-life dalliances to make you feel more secure. With cheating often comes a fair amount of guilt, which leads some husbands to get their spouses to stop doing nice things for them.
While some cheaters are eager to stop having sex with their primary partners, others start wanting sex non-stop.
6 Not-So-Obvious Signs I Missed When My Husband Was Cheating
You used to be able to talk to your husband about anything, often spending hours at a time just discussing your day or joking around with one another. However, cheaters will often stop engaging in this kind of intimate rapport with their spouse as soon as they find someone else—possibly someone who piques their interest more than you—to have those conversations with.
Between the guilt of having an affair and the waning attraction to their spouse, many men will make virtually any excuse to stay out of the house. In some cases, this means logging long hours at work—or at least pretending to. If your jeans-and-t-shirt kind of guy is suddenly decking himself out in Armani suits, a new partner may be influencing his tastes.
Learn about behaviors that could be clues of betrayal
In addition to hitting the gym more often and being more careful about their grooming, many cheating husbands will make sure their wardrobe looks like a million bucks to please the new object of their affection. Either way, this is a sure sign of trouble. Yes No I need help 9 What used to be 'we' time is becoming 'me' time.
- Signs of a Cheating Husband?
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Happy couples like to spend time together. They take walks, go to the movies, and even play games. Sometimes, they just sit next to one another, while one reads a book and the other watches TV. It's about being together, and if your husband doesn't want to be together anymore, his actions will show you. Time he would have spent in bed next to you will turn into time alone in another room, which is a sure indication that something's up. Yes No I need help 10 His sexual appetites and desires have changed. Physical intimacy is a cornerstone of marriage. Women learn how their partner behaves, especially his 'moves' in the bedroom.
If your husband starts to shut you out, or worse, randomly starts breaking out new moves in the bedroom, you'll want to check and see if he's started reading women's magazines, or is taking lessons from another woman. Yes No I need help 11 He deletes text messages from his phone. Most people don't delete their text messages, because it usually takes more effort than reading them.
If he starts deleting his text messages, chances are that you have a cheating husband on your hands, or one preparing to cheat. Yes No I need help 12 He makes and receives phone calls in private. This is another big red flag. Only a man who doesn't want you to hear what he's talking about takes or makes calls in private. Usually, the only time your husband doesn't want you to hear what he's talking about is when he's cheating, or talking about you.
Yes No I need help 13 He gets a second number.
Signs Husband Is Cheating: 21 Ways To Know
Most wives won't even notice this, but if your husband gets a nice new phone, you might check to see if it has two SIM cards. If so, what does he need a second number for, and why hasn't he shared that number with you? This is a sure sign that he's keeping some pretty serious secrets - one of which is probably an another woman. Yes No I need help 14 He has more than one personal email address. Almost everyone old enough to be married has transitioned through several email accounts, ultimately deleting most of them in favor of one or two.
If your husband is working full time, and keeping multiple personal email accounts, the only reason for him to have the stress of managing multiple accounts is to cheat, or to keep the door open for and old flame to rekindle the fires of desire.
20 signs that your partner may be cheating
This is just like the email account problem discussed above. If he's going to the trouble of keeping many different accounts, it's almost certainly because he's either already cheating, or planning to cheat in the future. Instant Messages are the new email, and because they're more private than regular SMS and Text messages, it's fairly easy for your husband to cheat on you without your knowledge.
While you shouldn't expect to read his messages on his phone any more than he should expect you to read them and give a summary of the important ones, there's nothing wrong with glancing at his screen from time to time. If he's hiding it, chances are he's hiding more than just a message.
Yes No I need help 17 His body or clothes smell differently than they used to. Too many women overlook this basic element of their husbands. Every man has his own smell. It's a combination of what he eats, where he sleeps, the soaps and colognes he uses, and the woman he sleeps with.
If the smell of his body changes, it's time to see if he's been having curry for lunch, or an affair with another woman for dessert. Yes No I need help 18 He doesn't participate in group gatherings of family and friends. However much we like or dislike our relatives, spending time with them is part of being married. So is spending time with friends. If your husband stops spending time with friends and family, especially in group settings, it's a sure sign that something's wrong.
Maybe he's planning to leave, or maybe he is cheating on you and doesn't want his other woman to see you together. Yes No I need help 19 He is spending a significant amount of time with someone else. This one is pretty obvious, but many women overlook it in the interests of being 'modern'. Just as it's OK for a married woman to have male friends, it's also OK for her husband to have female friends.
The thing that's not OK is when he's taking your time and spending it with her. If you notice that he's doing this, it could be a sign that your husband is cheating. Reel him in before it's too late. Yes No I need help 20 He spends a lot of time helping someone else, or gives gifts to them. This one is tough, because some men are genuinely sweet, and naturally giving. They will help out anyone. Unfortunately, some women are not so sweet, and may abuse your husband's trust, or worse, turn it into an affair.
Likewise, he might also be spending more time with another woman because he prefers her company to yours. Either way, it's a recipe for infidelity, and best nipped in the bud. Yes No I need help 21 He stretches short trips out of the house into long trips. Have his 30 minute walks in the park or short trips to the store turned into hours-long excursions? There can be a number of reasons for this, but they all usually involve him preferring to spend his time elsewhere.
In the case of a store, maybe there's a cute young cashier or other relatively unattached girl he's chatting with at the coffee shop, or maybe his dog walks include the understanding company of an otherwise unoccupied college girl. Whatever his reasons, none of them are good, and all point to a cheating husband. Yes No I need help 22 He starts arguments out of nothing, and then leaves the house. This one seems so obvious, yet many women miss it due to being so distraught over an argument they can't understand. This is because it hits them from out of nowhere, and then they sit home wondering what they did wrong to make their husbands leave.
This I sad, because a husband who starts a fight over nothing and then leaves the house is either looking for an excuse to leave the house, or not expressing his true frustrations. Both are signs of deeper problems, often involving infidelity. Yes No I need help 23 He is extremely angry and frustrated, seemingly without cause.
Men can be angry over life events and circumstances. It's also quite normal for him to be frustrated with things that are beyond his control, such as economic hardships, accidents, or work difficulties. What's not normal is for your husband to be angry and frustrated over nothing. If this is the case, the 'nothing' might just be a woman you aren't aware of, that he's been cheating with, but unable to express his guilt over.
Yes No I need help 24 He is defensive about everything, almost as if he is anticipating conflict. Few people like conflict, especially in the home. Your husband is no different, so if he's defensive about everything, and always prepared for conflict, you need to dig a little deeper. A man behaving like this is often doing so because he knows something's wrong. He knows something's wrong, because he's having an affair.
Yes No I need help 25 You stop seeing or hearing from his family as much as you used to. Momma's don't betray their babies, and many men tend to live by the bro code, where they stick together no matter what. If you're seeing signs that he might be telling his mother or family about an impending separation, or you've noticed that his friends aren't so friendly towards you anymore, it's a problem.
In fact, this problem almost always involves another woman, and is a serious sign of trouble. Yes No I need help 26 He begins dressing differently. Men don't often change their styles. If he likes jeans and a polo shirt, that's likely going to be his style forever. So, if you notice that he's traded in his jeans for a pair of dockers, or his usually conservative polo shirt for a printed t-shirt with a rock band logo on it, you might have a cheating husband on your hands. Men only change the way they dress when it serves a purpose, which in this case is pleasing another woman.
Yes No I need help 27 He starts caring more about how he looks. Grooming and hygiene patterns change. If your man used to be OK with slightly messed up hair, or half of a shave, and he's now carefully grooming himself, it's obviously not to impress you. In fact, one of the most obvious signs your husband is cheating on you is when he starts improving his personal hygiene and grooming habits. Don't ignore this, as it's an indication of a husband looking to please or impress another woman. Yes No I need help 28 His overall appearance has changed. This one is harder to spot, but it bears mention because it's usually a sign of problems that lead to an affair, rather than the actual affair.
Sometimes, when your husband isn't happy, he'll start making little changes, and the shift from outgoing to conservative, or conservative to outgoing, is one of them. If you see this, talk to him, before he gets tangled up in an affair that could destroy your marriage. Yes No I need help 29 His tastes in music change. Not that many wives notice this one, because many times their husbands can have some strange tastes in music.
However, if your classic rock loving husband starts listening to Tecno, there's a reason. Sometimes it is just be because he likes it, but more often, it's because the woman he's cheating on you with likes that style of music. He either wants to make her happy, or is pleasantly reminded of her while jamming out to the latest step. Yes No I need help 30 He starts visiting art exhibits or enjoying trips to museums. This one might seem a little funny at first, until you learn about the young art student your husband has taken an interest in, or the history major who has enchanted him with welcoming smiles and tales of ancient Rome.
If he starts finding interest in things he previously had no interest in, it's a sure sign that another woman has his interest. Take note, and steer him away from infidelity. Yes No I need help 31 He starts attending office parties and social events he used to avoid. Everyone knows the jokes about office parties, and let's be honest, they're usually pretty true. So, when your husband suddenly starts attending them, it probably has something to do with the new girl in the office. If you aren't invited, it almost certainly has something to do with her.
This is a sure sign of trouble in your relationship. Yes No I need help 32 The level of attention he gives you drastically changes.
9 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating
If your normally passionless man suddenly becomes a charming powerhouse of passion, enjoy it, but pay very close attention to him. Likewise, if your man of endless passion suddenly turns cold, take that as a warning sign too. He's likely either giddy with joy in another woman's arms, or he's gone cold because she's taking all that heat and keeping it for herself.
Yes No I need help 33 He suddenly develops an interest in a new language. This isn't usually something that younger wives need to worry about. It's more often reserved for those who have been married a few years. In these instances, a cheating husband might discuss a desire to visit France, for example. This naturally leads to French lessons, which his wife mistakes as being an indication of a planned trip to another country. She never sees the affair his 'language' lessons are hiding.
While new languages are great, be careful your husband isn't more than just new words in his mouth. Yes No I need help. My husband had an ex 8 months ago but the girl still sends him messages and calls him. So is there a possibility that they still meet and are dating?? There are several factors at play here that can affect this answer. For one thing, he might still have feelings for her, such as feeling sorry for her but not acting on them. The second possibility is that they do meet, but it is not because he has romantic intentions towards her.
The fourth possibility is that they are seeing each other but he does not have the heart to tell you. Yes No I need help As honesty is the best policy in a love relationship your best approach here is to just simply ask him if he is committed to a future with you and if so, will she be part of it? If you are suspicious now, it is the time to draw boundaries and state clearly what it is about his ex contacting him that bothers you. If he does not want to allay your fears or refuses to have the conversation or accuses you of not trusting him then it might be time to leave the relationship.
On the other hand, if he tells you it is nothing you might prefer to take him at his word rather than create an atmosphere of mistrust. Yes No I need help See more questions like this: My sister's husband was working abroad and now a women wrote her that he had an affair with her and he denied? He goes to work when is raining, leaves early and comes home late, goes in the garage and tells me I was being a jerk when in fact I wasn't.
Doesn't take me places anymore. He has at the very least treated you disrespectfully.
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Maybe he just needs his own space right now but I would start to pay attention to what he was doing more such as if he is working late bring him dinner. Yes No I need help Not sure if he's cheating at present though he claims not? I have found 2 substances and 2 condoms in his bag last year. He stayed out at his office for Christmas party till 2 or so PM.
Wonder if you have any input? Please help if you can. Maybe those condoms are from a long time ago and he never got rid of them, however, there should be no reason for him to have condoms unless they were with you. Why would a married man text his single secretary from work at night time if he isn't having an affair. Not necessarily. Especially if she is his right-hand person at work like many secretaries are.
He may be texting her about something she needs to do first thing in the morning or asking if something has been completed that he requested. Yes No I need help Should I divorce him? Should I trust him again if we stay married? My husband and I have been married for 20 years. Last year I found out about his 8 years affair with a woman who is 17 younger than him. I also got hold of his cellphone records. During the 8 years, he sent texts and called her every day.
Last Valentines Day I asked him to make up to me by buying me a card. He ignored me almost completely. Again on our wedding anniversary, I asked him to do something special for us, but again he just kind of not interested in my request. This got me very upset and we ended fighting on our anniversary.
I have tried: I suggested we go to see a marriage counselor but he refused to say that we just move forward. He said he admitted his past wrongdoing. He never apologizes or begs for my forgiveness. I think it was caused by: I don't know. I think maybe I trusted him too much from the day that we married. Yes No I need help He is not moving forward although he has stated that you move forward.
It may be time to end the relationship because it sounds like he already left it emotionally and is not even asking for forgiveness when he had an 8-year affair. I feel like she probably did everything better than I do or she still is and there is no way of really knowing for sure do to their kid and them working together. Involve yourself in their situation more. They may just be working and parenting together but you need to make sure that is the only thing going on and the best way is to make your presence more known around them when they are together.